Knowing our Bounds

A man new to recovery has a younger brother. His brother comes to him, asking for advice. Brother believes that his girlfriend is cheating on him. The man in recovery has spent a lot of time in federal prisons. Like many of us addicts, he's done terrible, hurtful things, and he is

How to Really Hurt an Addict

Addiction is predictable. You already know the life circumstances that precede addiction: trauma, parental addiction, poverty, homelessness, mental illness, lack of education… no surprises there. These compound intersectionally, so if we’re looking at a child of addicts who is abused or neglected and living in poverty, they are very likely to become

The Financial Impossibility of Recovery

I’m going to invite you to imagine something very difficult. As you read each paragraph here, try to really put yourself in these shoes; feel what these experiences would bring up for you. Who would you be if this was your reality? Ok, ready?  Your single mother was a violent, depressed addict,

The Conjoinment of Addiction and Domestic Violence

Domestic violence and addiction are not just closely related; they’re often the same exact pattern. They feed and inform one another, and it is all but impossible to break either cycle without breaking both. If an addict gets clean but does not address the patterns of (usually intergenerational) trauma expressing as domestic

The Accessibility of Gratitude

Have you felt gratitude today? Did you smile as your pet greeted you when you got home? Enjoy the music in your car? Share a kind moment with your partner? For many of us, daily practices of gratitude are central to our health and well-being. Gratitude is powerful medicine, and many try

Letting go

Sometimes we don’t want to live anymore. We feel that we’ve lived through or caused so much pain and broken our lives so thoroughly that it seems like death would be easier, gentler, and healthier.  This mindset is common for addicts. Many of us have (or think we have) done terrible things